It Takes a Little Time

So don't worry, I am still here. I have so much to write about that I don't know where to begin. First and foremost, I am still enjoying my job as an RN. Does it suck sometimes? Yes! Am I exhausted when I get home? Yes! Do I want to cry from time to time? Yes! Would I change a single thing? Hell no!

I am beginning to think that the first year as an RN in a hospital is a lot like military boot camp. I have never been to boot camp, but as emotions go I can only imagine that this can compare. I swear that I am being beat down emotionally so I can become numb later. The patients that I have had the privilege to take care of have taken an emotional toll on me. I have seen people bleed, die, bleed then die and I have seen those people try and be saved. I have been with families as their loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, I have visited with patients that are going through their second or third round of cancer. I have told a patient to just let go, I have told a dying man that sometimes it is best to just go home. I have also laughed with them, talked sports with them, and one time even gave relationship advice to one! I am always perky with a smile on my face. Why be glum? These people that I take care of are dealing with pain, fear, and disease and the last thing they need to see is a bitchy nurse walk in the room. We as nurses are the caregivers, the ears, the advocate and so much more. Am I the best? Far from it! I never pretend to know everything and I am more that willing to admit to my faults. I don't mind being humbled and I always apologize when I am wrong. It is the best I can do. So what will the rest of my first year bring me? I have no clue but I can't imagine it can be any more emotional than my first six months has been.